friend (frĕnd)
n.
1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
That's how the dictionary explains the term friend, but there are more things that connect us to our friends. Memories of good times, memories of bad times, that were stuck through as a team, laughter, happiness, a shoulder to cry on...a helping hand and most of all someone you think you can trust. Someone you know you can trust. Or can you?!
Lately it just seems like I've been wandering in circles...Every time I turn around something is up in my friend catalog...simply fishy. There's a specific story at the moment, that is leaving me wanting to rant on and on about this. Actually many things, if I think about it. Do you know that feeling, when you realize this is whats going:
1. I'm a shoulder to cry on, although they aren't here for me when I need the same thing?!
2. I'm a bitch box..."Please unload all of your rantings and bitchings here", yet if you do the same thing, no one listens?!
3. They are constantly pissed off because you don't call them 24/7....Sorry I have a life.... >_>
4. You mean well, by saying or doing something, but it is taken as an offense every single time.
5. When you try to find out what you've done that upset them so, you get either no answer at all or snotty comments. Or they aren't even able to explain what you've done, because you've seriously done nothing at all.
etc.
Now, I'm going to tell you what happened that got me so annoyed about this in the first place. And trust me this is not some stupid "girl drama"!! I have serious questions concerning this topic. I am confused beyond all means. One of my old "friends", lets call her S, is not talking to me. We've been "friends" for centuries and honestly this isn't the first time she's gone insane like this. It seems the person has issues. Do I love her anyway? For who she is? Yes. *starts singing* That's what friends are foooooor Anyway, I just moved back in town, so we've been in contact more. I had visited her at her house, we talked on the phone. Went shopping etc. For a couple of days I didn't call her or message (I swear wasn't more than 4 days), because I was completely and utterly crammed with things to do...My kid being sick and me being a single parent...sometimes things get challenging and I simply can't keep up with calling 10 girlfriends a day. So as I was saying, I didn't do anything for a couple of days. My kids 2nd birthday is coming up on Friday (yay :*) and I sent her the invite, just like I sent it to everyone else. I got no reply, even though it had been read. The messenger I sent it through shows if one has read the message or not etc, you get my point. So I'm like no problem, probably just busy or something, no big deal. 2 days later still nothing...So since it's Tuesday and I need to know who is coming and who isn't, for food count, seating etc...she would be bringing 3 kids with her after all...I send her another message. I ask if all is OK, that I hadn't heard from her in a while, didn't even mention the b-day just that I was concerned. Wanting to know if all is OK with her. Again, the message is read, but I get no reply. It is Wednesday...The party is in 2 days, and I have no idea what the hell her issue is to begin with.
Seriously what is this Bullshit. I know exactly what's up. I didn't message or call for 4 days, so she is pissed off to the highest of Pisstivity. But WHYYYY?! Is this really such a big deal? Am I missing something?? So it can't happen that one gets busy and just doesn't have the time to call, or one simply forgets because you're trying to manage your own life and the struggles it brings with it?? Why am I being crucified for this??????
Those are my questions. And furthermore I would like to know, if it IS so important, to hear from one another every single day....why didn't she pick up the damn phone and call me up?? Why do I have all the responsibility 24/7, 365 days a year to keep up with everyone?!?! What the hell is this madness???????? Doesn't a friendship go both ways?!
I swear I will never understand women. AND THIS IS COMING FROM A WOMAN FOR THE HOLY SAKE OF PETER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Somebody needs to get me in the clear, because honestly I'm to the point where I don't even want friends anymore. It's a constant struggle...unless of course someone tells me "Heidi your friends, aren't friends, they are faker then fake fingernails" ... That I would also understand, not like I haven't figured with that possibility before myself.
I am simply curious, do all you lovely folk out there in the world have these same issues? Is it normal? Is this what friendship is suppose to be like? A flipping burden?? Seriously this can't be the deal....It's nuts!
Thank you for listening to me rant, dear internet folk. lol ;)
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