So I was left wondering the past couple of days...about how much we know about the people we date/live with/marry. Even how much we know in general about loved ones and their partners. I mean, you notice it everywhere...Suddenly you find out your long time friend abuses his spouse, but he's "such a great guy" and they always looked happy. One's Aunt or Uncle, Cousin, Brother or even Parent reveals, out of no where, they're unhappy in their relationship...seemingly all was well for years. You're in a relationship and you start noticing that the person you are with isn't really who you thought he/she was. I'm left to wonder "What do we truly know about our loved ones?!"; "Are we even really in the loop?!"; "How much is not revealed to our eyes and are we judging them (and are we with them) for who they truly are, or are we liking/loving/supporting/trusting a facade?!"
All my life I've heard you "just need to trust people to be honest", but lets face it, when humans want something they will get it. Most of them don't care how. They will lie, cheat, steal and god knows what else to get to their goal. It's a dangerous world and not only for the physical being, but for your very emotions. I have stopped counting how many times I got hurt, for seeing someone as something, they truly weren't. It hurts and it scars, leaving people hard to trust the next person that comes into your life. You just never know who's telling the truth and who isn't. Honestly I don't even think it's possible to tell anymore, we have become masters of deception. Especially when it comes to relationships.
How many times have you heard of a guy/girl telling another everything just to get in their pants...or to get money...or to get back at someone. The deceived develops feelings and BAM suddenly you're hit with the truth. You've wasted your time...your LIFE being with someone who was never really there. He/She was only a figment of your imagination, because they never truly were who you thought they were. What to do about this?! It's sad, I want to say there are certain guarantees when it comes to realtionships, I really want to, but I have more then enough proof to say other wise. There is no guarantee that the person you are with will keep promises, always be as awesome as they were in the beginning. You can only stick around and find out. Take the risk. Have a 50/50 chance of being ultimately happy or burned from head to toe.
"Is it worth the risk?!"
My question indeed, but really, it's like asking someone:
"Is it worth eating this awesome meal, at this awesome restaurant, even though there is a risk that the kitchen is dirty and you may or may not get food poisoning?"
Of course it's worth the risk, even if things go bad, there was a good time with that person...before the big crash. There are still happy memories. Things to think positive about.
"Does it suck?!"
Yes. Yes, it frikken does. There is nothing I hate quite as bad as being fooled by someone I truly loved. It's degrading and it makes you feel like a moronic imbecile. Last but not least it effing hurts.
At the same time, I'm a sucker for Love. I'm a hopeless romantic and most likely a moron and just never could get myself to give up on love. So no matter how many horror stories I hear about, no matter how many times I get crushed I do always seem to get up and walk away from it. After all, there is always that next big chance of being ultimately happy next time around.
Of course we learn as well. After we've been around the block a couple of times, we can tell the 'Talkers' from the 'Walkers', we can tell who is real and who is just fooling around. Thankfully at least we learn.
So no, there is no guarantee. Do I think it's worth it anyway? Yes. Should you give up? No. Not if you ask me. Get up brush your knees off and keep on going, quoting my father here for a moment. Good ole fighting spirit never hurt!
2 more things before I get the hell outa here going...one of my favorite quotes:
"Love doesn't hurt you. A person who doesn't know how to love hurts you. Don't get it twisted."
~ Tony Gaskins
aaaaand some good advice that I give anyone about this topic:
1. Ask any question and a lot of them, don't be afraid it is silly or awkward. If he/she cares he/she will understand, listen and answer.
2. If you hear something you can't live with, bring it up. Either there can be a compromise or if it's really not for you. Please stop thinking he/she will change. They won't and you're going to be unhappy.
3. Take your time. I realize life is short, but rushing makes for a good possibility of overlooking something important. And that leads to not knowing. And not knowing gets people in trouble. And so on and so on and so on.
4. Stop looking for Love, that's when you usually find something you rather would have not found. It will find you when the time is right.
5. Don't settle. You're worth more than that.
Last but not least, 6. Never let your emotions control your brain.
On that note, stay safe! Use
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